When Vulnerability Isn’t Enough
I talk a lot about the importance of being vulnerable.
And it is. It’s so important.
There is no love, no triumph, no real life without vulnerability.
But something I don’t always mention, when I’m talking about vulnerability is how to cope when you’ve stood naked with your flaws written all over you for the world to see, and it just doesn’t work.
When the deep, raw, vulnerability of giving your heart, or sharing your talent or just of really trying your hardest at something, isn’t enough.
When there is no one there to receive the love, when there’s no applause, when your experiment just flat fails.
And you know it’s not a case where giving more or trying harder, trying again, will get you the result you were hoping for.
When failure inevitably comes calling, what do you do?
I think that often, the people who recover quickly from life’s crushing disappointments, the ones who can stand to be vulnerable, not just once, but time and time again, are the ones who have built lives for themselves that don’t just revolve around one all-important thing.
They don’t just have one obsession, one person or cause or creation that they live for.
Their interests are many, and their lives are so full that when one part of it falls apart, no matter how tragically, and how much it breaks their heart, they’ve got things to get them up, raring to go, in the morning, people who need them, projects to be completed.
You don’t have to be vulnerable with every person all the time. It’s ok to take a moment, to curl in on yourself and try to heal a bit before opening yourself up again to the possibilities vulnerability brings.
You don’t have to be constantly in full bloom. Sometimes we need a winter under ground.
Have passion, drive and determination, yes, but don’t make any one thing, any one person your reason for being.
Be vulnerable, yes, but don’t throw everything you have into any one thing.
Always keep a little for yourself.