A Toronto Transformation

That Voodoo that You Do

voodoo doll in a shark's mouth

I may have mentioned that I have amazing, hilarious friends.  And like all of my favourite amazing, hilarious people, they have a delightfully dark and twisty side.

Never was this more evident than a few weeks ago when a couple of them presented me with a post-breakup voodoo doll (they may have a wee spot of lingering resentment over my breakup) they had made me, complete with a black heart sewn into his chest and a stupid deep V-neck t-shirt sewn onto it.

It’s quite possibly the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen and I think I belly laughed for 15 minutes straight when I first encountered it.

As much as I wouldn’t wish a horrible breakup on anyone (well, almost anyone), it really has been amazing to see how people being furious on your behalf can be cathartic and make you feel so very loved, especially when you aren’t great at displaying any kind of towering rage yourself. While we’re on the subject, taking the high road, trying to be magnanimous and accept things with grace is utterly exhausting sometimes, no?

And what do you do with a breakup voodoo doll? Well, if you’re my friends, you get pretty creative. Every time I leave one of them alone with him, they come up with some preposterous new discomfort for the dear thing.

Oh, and if you’re my friend’s cat, you attack him in the night, biting a hole in his neck where tiny bits of the bulgar he’s stuffed with occasionally spill out.

voodoo doll strung between two lamps

voodoo doll with his head in the VCR

Yeah, I still own a DVD player and VCR. What of it?

Sure it’s a little macabre, but then, so’s life. You might as well laugh about it while you’ve got the chance.

What’s the best breakup cheer up gift or piece of advice you’ve ever received?

voodoo doll hanging from a dragonfly mobile

20 Responses to That Voodoo that You Do

  • Hanna says:

    Oh. My. God. I laughed so hard. The VCR!!! Hahahahahaha. I don’t know why making one of these has never occurred to me before.

    • metamorphocity says:

      I still can’t believe my friends actually made this one! They kept saying they would but I almost fell over when I found out they’d followed through. haha. I’m not sure it’s done any evil to the guy they made it in honour of, but it’s made me laugh a lot!

  • Cassie says:

    “Stupid deep V-neck t-shirt” cracked me the hell up. I love your friends for doing this for you. I love your cat for eating it.

    • metamorphocity says:

      hahaha. Well it is pretty stupid. I love them for it too! Everyone should have such loyal friends and cats!

  • Manda says:

    I wouldn’t say this was a break up per se, but it was more like a boy got tired of me before anything even came of us and like any human being, I was hurt. I was living in the college dorms with a roommate, and she went to the convenience store, came back with a bag of Rolos, handed them to me and said “Be Elle Woods. Throw them at the TV.” So, like in Legally Blonde, I shouted “LIAR!” and threw a handful at the TV. A bunch of them bounced off and one even hit the power button on our printer, turning it on! She and I still have a good laugh about it now 😛

    • metamorphocity says:

      Aw. That’s so sweet! What a good friend! Although, I hope you ate those rolos after all the throwing was done. If there’s one thing I cannot abide, it’s wasted chocolate! 😉

  • Alli says:

    Having recently gone through a really horrible breakup myself, I totally appreciate the awesomeness of this. They should start a business.

    • metamorphocity says:

      I know! I feel like an etsy ex-boyfriend voodoo doll store might just be the next step for them.

    • metamorphocity says:

      Also, I’m sorry to hear about your breakup! You can totally borrow my voodo doll.

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