A Toronto Transformation

People Google the Darndest Things

tarsiersvolleyball One of the most fun aspects of using analytics for your blog has got to be reading the lists of search terms people have used to make their way to your site.

You might think that the top search terms driving people to my site would be something to do with “Toronto” or “How to use a Menstrual Cup without fainting” (actually that one does make the list).

You would be wrong.

Apparently the top search term leading people to Metamorphocity is “Naked Volleyball.”

So let me just save any of you who might have stumbled upon my site through a naked volleyball google quest and tell you, if you’re looking for an amusing anecdote involving volleyball on a nude beach, I’ve got you covered. If you came looking for photos of glistening nude women and men with impossible tans serving overhand, I cannot help you. I’m sorry/not very sorry.

Along with the simple, straightforward “Naked Volleyball” query, come a lot of inadvertently hilarious iterations with some creative spelling. For example: Nud Bach Volleyball – we all know Bach had the composing thing down, but what do we know about his “nud” volleyball habits? Enquiring minds!

Here are a few more terms the old analytic machine has picked up:

“deranged tarsier” – a lot of people (or one extremely determined person) really want to see a deranged tarsier. Who knew?

“dvt and madness “- I really hope that’s not something I should be Googling. The two are not related, right?

“bras comfortable for elderly women” – any entrepreneurial seamstresses out there? I’ve got a business idea.

“obnoxious pigeons” – well, this one makes sense. Pigeons are the worst and I am not afraid to say so.

“how to change into your swimsuit in front of people in public” – with confidence, my friend!

“why was my muscle sticking out of my leg in strange angle last night” – I hope this guy’s ok.

“neocitran prince” – Sounds dreamy… Haha.

“spear to kill whale with” – Captain Ahab finally got online! Also, I have another business idea!

“i love when my girlfriend fainted” – I wish you perpetual singledom, sir or madam.

“no pants are the best pants” – I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Oh, and don’t worry, dear readers, I can’t tell who’s searching what.

Happy Googling!

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