A Toronto Transformation

The Mess I Live In

I finally got around to watching Frances Ha whilst waiting to ring in 2014 from the comfort of my couch.

It was high glamour here, let me tell you. Somehow completely wiped out from dashing around the frigid city to meet some out-of-town relatives for a delicious late lunch, I looked from my high heels to my heating pad, and promptly RSVP’d no to every invitation to go out into the world and celebrate.

I felt a tiny twinge of regret when I said goodbye to my parents on Skype so they could get ready to go out and join their friends for some festivities.

It passed.

Actually, it was kind of the best.

As was Frances Ha.

I know a lot of people are probably sick of watching millenials try to figure out their lives and where they fit in to the world of adulthood, but I’m telling you, this one’s worth a watch.

There’s something gritty, real and sweet about the film and Frances herself is charmingly weird and funny and earnest.

Watching her try to find a way to follow her passion despite the demands of reality and adulthood is something I can definitely identify with.

And I cracked up every time she excused her slovenliness, declaring “I’m not messy, I’m busy!”

I say that all the time. “Sorry about the mess, I’ve just been crazy-busy!”

What I should really say is, “Sorry about the mess, I’m just really messy.”

Because I’ve come to understand that being busy and being tidy and clean are not actually mutually exclusive for most people.

The truth is, my tolerance for my own untidiness is just extremely high. And hey, I live alone!

I’m always gratified when people are surprised to learn that I’m a slob. Clearly I emerge unscathed from my chaotic little mess of a nest. I manage to get out of the house without trailing household debris behind me, so it can’t be that much of a problem, right?

I feel guilty occasionally. Something about “together” women having beautiful, tidy, organized homes seeps in to my consciousness, but then I think about miserable 1950s housewives and I revel in my freedom to do other things instead.
I’ve just never rated tidying very high on my list of priorities, despite my parents’ best efforts. As a little girl I’d be sent to my room to clean, and warned of whatever consequences I would face if I didn’t tidy it up, but no matter how harsh the threatened punishment, I would inevitably get distracted five minutes in. My mom would find me chatting with my stuffed animals and dressing up as Cinderella, which, to be fair, was my way of preparing to clean.

I’m currently sitting in a pile of clean laundry and looking at a phenomenally large cobweb as I type this.

I think being neat and tidy is my final hurdle into actual adulthood, and it’s just not one I’m all that keen to tackle.

Although I am going to tackle that cobweb right now.

That thing’s a hazard.

If you don’t hear from me in a week, please call an exterminator.

10 Responses to The Mess I Live In

  • Leslie says:

    “Sometimes it’s good to do what you’re supposed to do when you’re supposed to do it.” That one is never going to get old – I’m just warning you now. This is going to be my new favourite film for a long, long time!

  • Rachel says:

    Haaaa…as I write this comment, I am laying on an open futon with crumbs all around me, a half empty suitcase with clothing strewn around it sitting at my feet, unwashed dishes on approximately half of the available surfaces in my apartment, and random Christmas receipts, cards, gift wrapping, mail, and other random junk scattered as far as the eye can see. I. Feel. Ya.

    Also, damn it, now I need to see this movie. I’ve heard so much about it, but I hadn’t seen the trailer until just now.

    • metamorphocity says:

      Haha. I’m so glad someone else admitted to a bit of messyness! I always feel better when other women I admire are also kind of slobs.

      And you should definitely watch the movie!

      From the comfort of your crummy futon. 🙂

  • MARTIN says:

    I love that movie. I remember going alone to see it at the cinema when it was on over the summer and it was a really cathartic experience. You’re right, there are a lot of struggling twentysomething movies out there but this is definitely one of the better ones. I love the part when she something along the lines of “I’m sorry, I’m not a real person yet”. That line really resonated with me.

  • Hanna says:

    Ohhhh this post is so refreshing. I stayed in my bed on New Years Eve with someone I’m starting to care a lot about – didn’t watch a ball drop, didn’t care. Kissed him at midnight and then went back to talking about other things and being lazy. I would have been just as happy by myself, eating everything in my refrigerator.

    I somehow ended up as one of those scary ultra-clean-and-tidy people that notice when anyone moves something one inch to the left, so I can’t relate to the messy thing, but I CAN relate to the idea of letting adulthood mean whatever it means to you and not falling into a trap of weird obligation. Hope you got that cobweb sorted out!

    • metamorphocity says:

      That sounds like a perfectly divine way to spend New Year’s Eve! Any time the words “This is going to be the best New Year’s ever!” I just back away slowly.

      And I totally bested that cobweb!

  • Erin says:

    I just watched Frances Ha and I absolutely loved it – it may be my new favourite movie. Do you have any other movie recommendations?

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