Little Luxuries – Time
Lately when I think about luxuries, I dream about time.
Just over a year ago, I spoke to the man I’d agreed to marry for the last time. When it became painfully clear that he was not, in fact, planning to come back to me as he had so tearfully promised to do when he flew out of my city, I got busy.
It’s how I deal with heartache. I hate to wallow and cry for any longer than I can possibly help, so I throw myself into work, projects, school, friends, whatever is available to me. I know that distraction won’t stop the pain, but I do think it can make it more manageable when you let it in a little bit at a time in between doing a million awesome things.
I said no to sitting alone in my apartment watching sad movies and yes to everything else. I cultivated new friendships, nurtured old ones. I worked out like a champ, I saw shows, I took photos, I slept in a tent! I volunteered, I cooked, I made things, and I wrote all over the internet every chance I got.
But I must admit, while I’ve built all of this really positive momentum, there are times when I just want off this track. Just for a minute. Everything in my calendar just feels too important to give up but I find myself dreaming about a quiet weekend spent in my apartment knowing that all my friends are busy and the internet is broken worldwide, so I’m not missing anything there.
I want to lie in my bathtub and watch bad tv until I’m ready to get into my bed and read a good book. And then I want to sleep for ten hours. I want no obligations, no shoulds.
I just want a little time.
Do you guys ever feel this way? What do you do when your schedule starts to overwhelm you?