What Your Internal Monologue Says About You
“Let’s run you a nice warm bath, Little One,” the voice says after I’ve had a particularly grueling workout.
“Come on, out of bed, honey. I’ll put on the kettle and you can have a nice cup of tea while you wake up,” she coaxes, as I burrow deeper under the covers on a Monday morning.
It occurred to me recently that this might not be totally normal.
Especially when you consider that I live alone.
It’s the same voice that says, “Enough, already,” when I’m having a bad day and hiss a cruel, shallow insult at my reflection, and helps to keep my self-bullying in check.
It’s the voice that told me, “You’re all right,” when I cried in the shower after my fiance left. “Breathe, girl. You’re ok. You’re going to be just fine.”
It’s the voice that called me a super genius last week when I solved a fairly rudimentary math problem at work (maybe a stretch, but I’ll take it).
It’s my voice.
My internal monologue, to be precise. And I’ve recently realized she’s really, really nice.
I’m not sure when or how exactly I developed this habit of half-consciously soothing myself (with pet names, no less!) I wonder if it’s something I developed while living on my own or while living in the country, when my thoughts were often my only company, but, besides the concern that I could be developing multiple personalities, I think it’s kind of great!
My internal monologue says to me the kind of things that I would say to my friends and often, the things my kindest friends would say to me when I need to hear them.
While it’s no substitute for the wise counsel of people who love me, I think it definitely helps get me through rough days and keeps me smiling on good ones.
I wondered if I was alone in this, but reassuringly, my friend Sam says she too has a sweetheart of an inner voice, who frequently refers to her as “Baby Girl,” as she goes about her day.
So either this is fairly normal, or we both caught the same strain of weirdo disease.
Hopefully it’s contagious.
Do you guys ever pay attention to your internal monologue? What does it tell you?