A Toronto Transformation

Goldilocks’ Nightmare

The other night I dreamed about bears. Three Giant, terrifying, man-eating bears that somehow squeezed into my family home, the baby attacking my brother, who didn’t hear my parents and me frantically yelling for him to stay upstairs.

My mom came to his rescue by full-body tackling the giant baby bear and inexplicably dragging it up the stairs as some kind of hostage, thinking she could reason with the adult bears, I suppose, leaving my dad and I downstairs while the giant bear parents followed her. “Why does no one have a gun?!” I screamed at my dad as I frantically went through the kitchen drawers looking for something to kill a murderous gang of bears with and realizing that all of us were about to be horribly killed as I handed him a large bread knife.

I snapped awake with a gasp, terrified, and then, relieved. Relieved to wake to a reality where my family and I were not engaged in a fight to the death with giant evil bears, sure, but also to be waking up, for the first time in months, from a nightmare that was not about my ex-fiance.

Relieved to wake up just scared, not sad, not angry, just afraid. Relieved not to wake up to a face wet with unconscious tears I refused to cry while awake. Relieved to feel like myself again, if only for a little while. Relieved to catch a glimpse of sun, new growth, a whiff of living earth.

Any sign to hold onto, anything to believe that spring will indeed come.

That this long, cold winter will soon just be a memory, no more than a bad dream.

12 Responses to Goldilocks’ Nightmare

  • Leslie says:

    This brings to mind an article you wrote about people being afraid of bears and how it is seldom the things that you fear that will get to you in the end. Bears can be cruel. And winter can be cruel. And sometimes the people we love can be cruel too. But I feel that Spring is coming and bringing warm breezes to soothe you and ease the way ahead.

  • Cassie says:

    Bears… winter… YOU. (That’s me putting the pieces together.) Could this be a metaphor for you coming out of hibernation from those months of bad, sad winter dreams? Hmm. This dream sounds like a good sign, terrifying as it may be.

  • elenamusic says:

    What’s interesting was that you were not prepared for the attack. It was like you were upset you didn’t already have bear guns ready to go. Are you getting ready for something? I think there’s something your subconscious is telling you to get ready for and not be caught unprepared.

    I have reaccuring zombie nightmares. For a while I would just be running away from the zombies, but lately I’ve been starting to fight back. Haven’t had the bear dream, that’s interesting. Almost like Goldilocks gone wrong.

    • Ooh. I like your interpretation. It also makes me want to go around singing “Be Prepared” from the Lion King.

      Isn’t it cool when your subconscious starts to recognize a recurring nightmare and problem solve? Way to fight those zombies!

  • Ugh–bear dreams! Almost every nightmare I’ve ever had involved a bear. Usually it involves trying to reason with them. Seriously, you’re ready to confront, protect, and stand up for yourself–I love that you’re mad at yourself and your family in the dream for not being prepared–for bears. Bears! Try to have salmon in your dream pockets for deflection going forward. And one of those bear bells.

    • Haha. You and my mom would get along. I like the idea of salmon pockets. I wonder if there’s a way to meditate on that or something right before bed and bring it into the dream. Although, with my luck I’d just dream about having to fight giant evil salmon!

  • Manda says:

    I like Cassie’s take on your dream being a metaphor. 🙂

    Unrelated to dreams and metaphors, but have you read Jasper Fforde’s book The Fourth Bear? It’s the second in his Nursery Crime series, where he brings nursery rhymes and such to life and crimes are to be solved. The Fourth Bear, of course, is about the fourth bear that was in the Goldilocks rhyme. His books are really good, and naturally I thought of that book when I saw the title of your post!

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