Martha Who?

That little raven on the wall clearly disapproves of my dancing at our Edgar Allen Poe Valentines Party

While sharing a sumptuous feast of scrambled eggs on my couch last night, Red, my dear friend and faithful party co-host asked, “So are we doing a Valentines Day party this year?”

“Hnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh,” I replied.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I said after some more dramatic wheezing. “I think the idea is just giving me athsma…but yeah, we should do it!”

Because despite my current aversion to all things romantical, I just cannot resist planning a themed party. And, if I might say so, we do come up with some good ones. Last year’s Valentines extravaganza had an Edgar Allen Poe/Gothic theme, which was quite fun, and my all-time favourite so far was our Winter in Russia party. Borscht and cottage cheese pancakes and furry hats and shot glasses made of ice for everyone! I also greatly enjoyed watching people try pickled herring and sour cream.

So we set our little brains a-storming, and, after discarding a few ideas that were too similar to last year, came up with our top three themes:

Heart Attack

Decor: lots of red, anatomically correct heart decorations

Dress Code: Come as your favourite doctor (Frankenstein, Quinn, medicine woman, etc.)

Menu: really fatty foods (steak wrapped in bacon?) Dr. Pepper.

Concerns: Horribly insensitive to people with heart conditions?

If I Only Had a Heart (Robot Valentines Day)

Décor: Tin foil, sprockets, slinkies

Dress Code: Robot Casual, obviously, metallic clothing encouraged.

Menu: Nuts and bolts, Cubed food, sprocket cookies

Concerns: If anyone talks to me about Wall-E, I will cry all night. Seriously, that thing where he just wants to hold hands with someone? Can’t handle it even a little!

Fly Me to the Moon (Alien Valentines Day)

Décor: Tin Foil, Spaceship lights, more tin foil

Menu: All little green foods

Dress Code:  Alien

Concerns: Will there be enough tin foil? In the world? We need so much tin foil! (Red is really into the idea of somehow covering her entire apartment with foil)

No matter what the theme, we’re definitely doing secret admirer valentine envelopes again this year. Nothing like hilariously disturbing anonymous messages of lust, or just plain old threats from your fellow partygoers to make your day. Who doesn’t like getting something in the mail?

What say you, internet friends? Doctors, robots or aliens? Who would you rather be surrounded by on chocolate heart day?