Background Check
A couple of weeks ago I popped in to a local salon for a little laser hair removal. After filling out my personal info, I was whisked down a damasked hallway and left alone (thank God) to make the necessary preparations, clamber ever so gracefully onto the be-papered table and try to assume some kind of natural-looking position to greet the woman who would soon be shooting me with lasers (technology blows my mind a little).
She walked in, handed me some protective sunglasses and declared, “So you’re Italian.”
“Oh! Ah. No, no. I’m just kind of a furry Canadian.”
She looked at me over her glasses. “Right, but your family is Italian.”
“Haha. Well no, not a one, actually. They trace mostly back to Ireland, Scotland and England.”
She shook her head as I turned over so she could get the backs of my legs.
“I don’t care what your last name is. You’re Italian.”
“OK…but, I’m…not, though…” I trailed off.
“Blood doesn’t lie.”
I craned my neck around to see that she was not, in fact, taking my blood, and decided to let the subject drop. After all, I didn’t particularly care what she thought about my genes or cultural background, so long as she was steady-handed with the laser beaming.
But.
I’m always a little uneasy when someone asks me the “background” question. Not because I have anything particularly undesirable in my ancestery. I’m pretty sure I’m not a direct descendant of orcs or anything, and even if I was, who’s to say I’d be anything like them? And it’s not that I find the question offensive, per se, I’m just never quite sure what people are trying to figure out when they ask or why it should matter. I like to throw them off by telling them I have a background in journalism.
I do get my back up a little when I feel like someone is trying to size me up for a convenient little box, in the same way that I always squint suspiciously at forms that wish to know my marital status, or heck, even gender with no obvious relevance to anything.
Why do you need to know if I’m married for me to enter a draw to win free shoes, you know?
These just aren’t things I’m particularly comfortable being defined by, I suppose.
What do you guys think? Do you get asked this? Or are you someone who asks, and if so, why?
I find it happening more now that I’m out of NZ, but in a different kind of way. Everyone kind of assumes that I’m from wherever I happen to be, but they show it by talking to me. In Italy loads of people would come up and speak me to me in Italian. In Egypt apparently I looked Egyptian. In France, French. It was a bit bizarre, and it’s not until I start talking that they catch on that I’m from somewhere else…
That’s bizarre that the laser women would be so keen to put you in the ‘Italian’ box based on how fuzzy you are. Italians definitely aren’t the only fuzzy ones! What a weird distinction to make…
To be fair, she’s not the first to guess that. As well as being a bit of a fuzzball, I have pretty bold features, (big eyes, black eyebrows, sort of olive-y skin) that I guess people associate with that part of the world, but yeah, her insistence after I corrected her and just her need to know at all really was bizarre.
I love that you just blend right in when you travel! I’m always worried about sticking out as a gawky tourist. Sounds like you don’t have that problem!
“I like to throw them off by telling them I have a background in journalism.”
HAHAH. I’m totally using that from now on. But really, why did this lady care so much? Maybe she thinks she’s an expert because she’s seen a lot of hair in her day, but like… I think you would know. I’m such a European mutt that I feel no attachment to any one culture or region.
Also, how’s that laser hair treatment? I’ve… considered it. Aside from the expense, though, I’ve always been worried I’ll have some awful reaction to it.
The laser is good! I was worried about some adverse reaction too. I had a serious concern that I would wind up with weird discolouration or hair just finding some new, horrible place to sprout from, but it was totally fine.
Although the last treatments I had weren’t as permanent as I had hoped, they still made a good dent, and I think that was because I just stopped going once it seemed to have taken care of everything rather than going in for the recommended number of treatments. Plus my hair is of the most stubborn variety.
I also bought the treatments through Groupon, which has made it significantly easier on my wallet.
I am a “european mutt” like Cassie, so when people ask me what my background is, I just pick something! Lately I’m going with Swedish, even though I’m only like 1/8th Swedish… Because let’s face it… They’re some good-lookin’ folks! Please count me in on that!!
I was actually really shocked when I moved to Toronto at how often people would ask the background question… On my first day at my first Toronto job, I had about 10 coworkers ask! This was so weird for me, because in the small farming community I came from, no one had ever asked me that… Like… Ever! I actually went home after my first day at that job and called my Mom to ask her what my background was, because I had no idea!
That’s so funny! I actually used to get asked way more when I moved to a tiny little town. A lot of the population was pale, blonde and blue-eyed so I did stick out a little bit, I guess but Toronto’s such an amazing mix of ethnicities and cultures that I’m more surprised when I get asked here.
Before the USSR broke up, I used to answer the “where are your people from?” question with Russia. I can’t tell you how many times other kids accused me of being a Russian spy. It got very old. I hate when I’m buying something that I’m paying for in cash and they want my zip code or telephone number. I always decline. It’s merchants’ way of collecting information to find out what their customers are like, so they can better market to their customers. Generally, I don’t want big box stores in my neighborhood, so that’s why I always decline when they ask. =)
Oh yeah! I’m always weirded out by stores wanting my phone number or postal code too.